All Imperfect Things

And so here we go...

 

 Ambiguity can be a lovely thing, especially when it's like stumbling upon beautiful labyrinth when you least expect it. With only the faint intuition of what pleasant surprise what might await at the center....

 

Miss you

(Photo source unknown)

Autumn I miss you...crisp cooler weather, colorful crunchy leaves, pumpkins (everything pumpkin!), all things relating to Halloween/Samhain, apple cider, apple pies, scarves, woolly socks, coats, arm warmers/fingerless gloves, the smell of bonfires and decomposing leaves, that indescribable feeling that fall gives. It's like the perfect mix of magic and mystery in the air, with a hint of loneliness that is more beautiful than somber (if that makes sense). 
Summer is fun and all but usually after a few weeks I get a bit tired of it and long for Autumn. 

Perfect Day

"Some things don't last forever, but some things do. Like a good song, or a good book, or a good memory you can take out and unfold in your darkest times, pressing down on the corners and peering in close, hoping you still recognize the person you see there."
— Sarah Dessen

One of my favorite songs that I haven't heard in quite awhile, I was pleasantly surprised when I stumbled upon it on YouTube. I use to watch this show all the time as a kid!

Full version of the song, here

Sewing Shed

 

Oh oh oh!! Is this not one of the most adorable work spaces ever?! I love this little sewing shed that belongs to tales of a jUnkaholic! As a kid I always wanted one of these outdoor sheds to fix up and play in and in recent years have always thought it would be nice to have one for crafting and prop building. This is quite similar to what I had in mind, only on a slightly smaller scale and for sewing instead.

And just when I thought it looked awesome in the day time...at night it's even better...

 

What a fantastic little way to escape into your own world and create!
I'm all for the idea of creating an environment around yourself that is truly your own little world. Whether it's just your studio or you whole house. For me, and I'm sure this goes for many people as well, I work and feel best when I'm totally comfortable, relaxed, and surrounded by things that inspire and motivate me.

Sometimes people ask me what to I do to stay motivated and inspired creatively, aside from natural curiosity and the fact that I'm interested and easily inspired by so many things anyway. One of the things that seems to help keep me motivated and inspired is to be able to come home and immerse myself in my own little world, having a cozy environment to work and live in, with the perfect creative atmosphere down to the smallest of details. To be surrounded by things and reminders of all that I find fascinating, inspiring, and beautiful. An escape from reality somewhat, although I feel it's more fitting to describe it as a way of creating your own reality and allowing yourself to delight in it. Taking the fascinations of the mind and working them into day to day life, making each day a little less mundane and a little more magical.

"The creative mind plays with the objects it loves.”
    - Carl Jung

Through cracking walls, reached skeleton hands

This is kind of a continuation from my previous post, I typed all of this late last night and when I went to post it today I realized it was an awfully long blog entry. Plus since the first half was on a more serious note, I felt like this half would be better off separated.

Now, I should mention that posts both here and on my art blog will probably be a bit slow for a little while, I'm busy busy and going back to NYC soon. Very excited about that even though it'll just be a short, school related trip. But I do plan to take a moment to check out Tim Burton's exhibit going on at MoMa while I'm there and hopefully I'll have time do a few other things as well.

But I'm very excited to see Burton's stop motion puppets in person, especially the ones from "Vincent" which is probably my absolute favorite film from Tim. I always feel like his movies as a whole are hit or miss for me, some of them I really love and others not so much. But his work has definitely been an inspiration when it comes to animation...and probably the side of me that loves whimsical Gothic aesthetic as well. It was Nightmare Before Christmas (along with those Rankin Bass production seasonal animated specials too, I should mention) that originally made me try my hand at stop motion as a kid.

There is something uniquely special about creating a stop motion film. I think, for me at least, it's the process of creating and bringing to life tangible little worlds completely from scratch, kind of like painting in a way. Sometimes when I think about future films, if I am fortunate enough to be successful as a filmmaker, I have a hard time picturing myself doing very many films that would be set completely in the present day with no fantasy or ancient historical elements involved. Because I just love bringing something into being that isn't there or that no longer exists.
But back to stop motion, I find it somewhat sad that not many people explore this medium or just simply find it to be outdated (much like how many people are starting to view hand drawn animation these days), at least when it comes to feature films. And perhaps it is outdated but that doesn't exactly make it any less fascinating or entertaining. Heck, shadow puppets are outdated and I still like them, haha, I'm a weird one though.

Week Five and some thoughts

Watching "The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari" for the one millionth time

Grilled chicken and steak wrap, obviously my "no red meat" rule flew out the window here, oops. But it was yummy yummy!

C.G. Jung's "The Red Book"

Being increasingly sick these past few weeks with little to no energy plus not really wanting to take photos, equaled some odd photos this time around. At least I didn't miss any days!

Anyway, the past few days have been bit of a bummer. Facing the reality, once again, that some wonderful things ultimately do have to come to an end eventually. Practically nothing stays the same no matter how badly we sometimes would like for them to, or for things to at least turn out the way we hope they will. Things change, people change, situations change...sometimes faster than what is comfortable; but how good it is that things do change, because life would be awfully dull and unadventurous if everything and everyone remained as is, never growing or moving forward. Sometimes I wish I wasn't so intuitive and sensitive to every little thing going on around me. How people act, what they do or don't do, what they say or don't say (and what people don't do and don't say always seems to speak the loudest). But I'm sure it's probably better to feel too much, rather than too little or not at all.
It's all good though, even when times are looking a bit down things always do turn back around again for the better, in one way or another.

It's interesting, just last week I was thinking about how people become so fixated on the long term future, which isn't a bad thing because of course we often hope and see the future as potentially being better and brighter than the present and we work hard to reach those far off dreams and goals that await us somewhere in the distance. Yet sometimes I think there is a point when one can become overly fixated on the future or on specific parts of our lives resulting in us missing out and somewhat disconnected to all that is good surrounding us every day in the present moment. I know I have done this.
One of my main new years resolutions this year is to try to balance out my life a bit more. For so long I've been so focused on my work or specific parts of my life that seem hold the most meaning to me or captivate me intensely, that I tend to unintentionally block everything else out. I want to make sure that I make time for and don't forget about or neglect the other little things in life that are just as important; such as spending time and staying connected to all of my friends, making more time to just chill out and enjoy hobbies, go for walks, bike rides, small leisurely trips etc. even if it's just something as simple as going on a picnic or for a swim in a lake on a nice day.

So many people tend to lead such fast paced, hectic lives these days, with packed schedules. I feel like it's such an important thing to remember and know when to not take on so much, slow it down a bit, and re-focus yourself. Being such a workaholic and a perfectionist myself, I feel like I sometimes have to remind myself of this. Especially when I become frustrated and wish others would, yet I realize that I'm not even doing a very good job of this myself.
So who knows what this year will bring, but I'm ready to make some changes that will hopefully lead to a fantastic year that is both productive and fulfilling on many levels.

Only something...

(photo from tomo908us on Flickr)

"I do not know what it is about you that closes
and opens; only something in me understands
the voice of your eyes is deeper than all roses"
- e.e. cummings

The Appearance of Things

 

 

(Unfortunately I don't remember where I found any of these photos sense I've had them saved on my computer for awhile)

I don't have anything very interesting to post at the moment, but I'll share few favorite "room" photos from my reference/inspiration folders that I have been looking at. I've been really fond of white walls lately and have decided to go back to having white walls, rather than light blue, in my studio room. Not only because it creates a better environment for painting (because of the way white bounces light) but I'm starting to appreciate even more, the serene, zen-like, feeling it gives off. Though with art supplies and stuff strewn about everywhere, when I go into a serious work mode, I don't know how long that zen-like feeling will last, haha.

I use to find bare white walls (as with other very cool colors) to be too cold, being someone who feels most comfortable in warm and cozy surroundings. But it's not so bad as long as there are some colorful accents throughout the room, to warm it up some and soften the starkness of the white.

The Night and The Dawn

 

 

 

 

 

"No man knows till he has suffered from the night, how sweet and dear to his heart and eye the morning can be." --Bram Stoker 

Just some late night shots. One of my new years resolutions has been to get on a better sleeping schedule, going to bed around 4am is getting tough. But I love the night and early hours of the morning, it's when I feel most productive creatively and it's also a wonderful time to explore and learn by means of good books and of course the internet. Even though what originally led me to be such a night owl was undesirable and had nothing to do with creativity or learning; I feel like everything I've ever drawn or written, that has been the most meaningful to me, has been created late at night and in the early hours of the morning. Within the stillness and the silence of these hours, it's so easy to drift off deeply into thoughts and emotions, dwell upon ideas, with the absence of distractions. I feel like there is so much more to it, though, than just the stillness and the silence, that makes the night so compelling and entrancing.

However I'd like to know what it feels like again to create as the sun rises and everything quietly awakens. Who knows how long this will last, old habits are hard to break sometimes, but I'm looking forward to spending this spring waking up to and enjoying many sunrises.
Perhaps making up for some of those that I've missed, but can you truly make up for such a thing.

Also speaking of waking up and this is rather random...however, I was reading a blog somewhere and someone mentioned how human and vulnerable faces can look first thing in the morning after waking up, when they're rosy, puffy, and slightly swollen. It was kind of neat to see someone bring this up, since this is something I love about faces, the different changes they go through throughout the day and under different conditions. That rosy, puffy, look is something I've been working towards perfecting in my paintings, skin can be so tricky to paint sometimes though. I've been busy working on glazing and wash techniques in oil paints, so I am getting somewhere with this, slowly but surely.
There is indeed something so beautiful, vulnerable, and delicate about the face in that state that I absolutely love.

The most important things are the hardest things to say...

They are the things you get ashamed of, because words diminish them -- words shrink things that seemed limitless when they were in your head to no more than living size when they're brought out." - - Stephen King

(photo from christian's photography on Flickr)

I've been thinking about all the different ways people communicate and express themselves, and have realized that although I can be quite talkative, hard to shut up sometimes, and enjoy deep conversations, I don't really consider myself to be a very good talker. I've always found it easier expressing myself through creativity more so than actually sitting down and talking. In conversation, I often feel like I can't find the right words, at the right moment, to really express what I want to say when I'm talking to someone in person. I'm not sure where this comes from, perhaps it's the odd mix of growing up a very shy only child who, barely spoke to people I didn't know very well, as well as being a very visual person in many ways, and a highly sensitive person at that. Probably a number of other things play into this as well, who knows, however I find this to be extremely frustrating at times. Especially when you have so much to say, to contribute, and to talk about, but it doesn't seem to make it's way out, at least not in the way you intend for it to.

But when I'm doing something creative, whether it's writing, painting, acting, filming, or whatever, it's totally different; I feel like I can be lucid as I want. And in a sense it is almost absolutely effortless to get across what I want to get across, without worry or doubt. For example, I often do not let onto how personal many of my paintings actually are. However aside from their somewhat ambiguous nature and behind the all of the symbolism within them, they probably in many ways tell more about me than most people will ever learn directly from me (however with that said, I'm not an extremely secretive person and will most likely have no problem unveiling their truths, as best as I can, to those who know me well and sincerely want to know). I find it interesting the way things like this work though, how sometimes it can be so much easier and feel so much more natural to open up and express or explain something through nonverbal means of communication.

Anyway, didn't really want to ramble on too much about this and I can only hope this made some sense, but this is once again a 3am post. However I guess I felt like bringing this up because I often get the feeling that I sometimes give off the wrong impression. Even to some of those who have known me for years, still seem to find me to be somewhat hard to understand sometimes. Yes, I do have my quiet moments, but I'm really not nearly as aloof, shy, or antisocial as I may sometimes appear to be.